Don Juan? Hmmm… Wikipedia describes Don Juan as a “womanizer” and, in at least one version of the legend of Don Juan, he gets dragged off to Hell by the ghost of the man whose daughter he seduced!
Be that as it may, my favorite version of the Don Juan legend is the 1994 movie, “Don Juan de Marcos” starring Johnny Depp, Marlon Brando, and Faye Dunaway. In fact, several of the women in my life were adamant that every man between the ages of 12 and 92 MUST watch this movie at least 10 times and take copious notes. I think this movie struck a cord with women and men would be well advised to listen.
That being said, here are some “Don Juan Principles” you can try out in your life:
1. When you’re going out on the town, dress “dashing.” Don’t just throw on anything you can find in your closet that would make you look like 98% of the other guys out there. Make an effort to stand out from the crowd by the clothes you choose to wear. Remember, first impressions last.
2. Be assertive! Don’t congregate with all the other guys. Do you think your dream woman is going to crash that hurdle to ask YOU to dance? I don’t think so. Make the first move. Get out on that dance floor and steal the girl who has caught your eye.
3. Project confidence. Walk around like you own the night and every girl there will feel lucky to be seen with you.
4. When you make contact with your dream girl, don’t just “talk” nonsense stuff to make conversation. Complicate her; ask her opinion about things; be humorous – show her you’re not the usual run-of-the-mill guy on the make. Let her know there is some substance to you.
5. When you are seated with her at a table, and you’ve bought her a drink, keep the conversation going. Ask her how she feels about things – get her talking about her emotions and feelings. Don’t get nervous and segue into “chit-chat.”
6. At this point, if you would like her phone number, be smart about asking. Say something definite like, “Would you like to have dinner with me next week? How can I get a hold of you?”
Turn yourself into a dashing Don Juan, and your success with the ladies will become legendary.
You’ve finally met a girl you think the world of and you don’t want to make any mistakes and lose her before the relationship even has a chance to grow. What things can you avoid in order to give this fledgling relationship a running start?
Here are a few simple suggestions:
1. If you do everything for her, pay for everything, plan everything around her schedule and the things she likes to do, she will feel like she doesn’t have anything of hers invested in the relationship. A healthy relationship is give and take. If you do all the giving, she will eventually become bored. Here are some ways she can “invest” in the relationship and, therefore, give her more of a stake in making it last:
- Let her do little things for you that you would do for her. A massage, picking up your dry cleaning when you don’t have time, helping you pick out the perfect gift for your Mom or sister-in-law, meeting you at a restaurant for dinner instead of expecting you to always pick her up.
- Don’t always pay for everything yourself. Let her pay for dinner, the theater, and the taxi. Suggest that it’s her turn to take you out to dinner and let her surprise you with her choice. When she invites you over for dinner, don’t be shy about telling her the name of your favorite, expensive, wine and ask her to pick up a bottle for the dinner. You can bring the flowers.
- If she is willing to spend time with you doing the things you like, even if she’d rather be shopping at the mall, she will think, subconsciously, that the relationship must be “deep” and she must really care about you if she shares your preferences instead of always expecting you to do the things she likes.
2. Sometimes a woman will find you interesting as long as you’re a challenge, when she isn’t sure of you. But, unfortunately, as soon as all doubt leaves her mind and she knows you are “hers” for the taking, she may lose interest quickly. It was the “thrill of the hunt” that made you attractive, not the catch. Granted, this type of woman may be shallow and you will probably be better off without her, but if she is really important to you, don’t commit too early in the relationship.
3. Don’t be “needy.” Most women don’t want a wimp that makes them feel that the future happiness of the man is completely in their hands and, if they leave the relationship, the man will be devastated. This is a responsibility most women don’t want.
4. If your family lives close by, mention them from time to time so she is aware of their existence, but don’t be in too much of a hurry to drag her over to meet them. In fact, it would be good for her to suggest that she meet your siblings or parents when she feels comfortable doing so. Also, for a first meeting, a dinner out at a restaurant would probably be better than dragging her to a big family get-together where she will be inundated with tons of new people whose names she won’t remember anyway. Start small and slow.
These are just some simple ideas, but they can make a big difference, especially at the beginning of a relationship. Keep them in mind and you will increase the chances of your relationship growing instead of ending prematurely.
Your first reaction when you want to meet women might be to go to a bar or club. True, you will meet a lot of interesting women in these kinds of places, but it’s not that easy and the competition is fierce. Also, a woman who hangs out in a bar or club to meet men might not be exactly the type of woman you are interested in at the moment.
Go somewhere where there will be a lot of women and where it is natural to talk to them. Or where you will be interacting with the women who are there. This is so much easier than a place where you have to go up to a woman and try to start a conversation out of the blue. Here are some ideas:
1. The atmosphere in a yoga class, for example, is relaxed and meditative. Just the opposite of the bar scene. Also, there are usually twice as many women as men in a typical class, and most people are very helpful to newcomers.
2. What’s the latest aerobics “trend” in your area? Women like to try out the latest thing to stay in shape, so this is a great place to meet vibrant, interested women who care about themselves. After a class, a lot of people hang out at the coffee shop or juice bar at the health club or in the neighborhood. This is a great opportunity to discuss the class you just attended or ask for help with a particularly new concept. Or, just ask their opinion on what’s the best juice drink after a vigorous workout?
3. If you like your women a little more on the sophisticated side, go to a wine tasting or art show. Making conversation in these kinds of atmospheres is normal because that’s what people come there to do – discuss the latest, best new wine or the art of an up-and-coming artist. You might want to read up on the artist or vineyard before you go so you have some points of conversation ready.
4. One of the least thought about but great places to meet women, especially women who want to be helpful if you’re new – is a pottery class. I went to pottery classes for three years and, believe me, the women who go to these classes are incredible. They’re friendly, have great senses of humor (you have to have a sense of humor when you end up with your thumb sticking through the side of the bowl you’re trying to “throw” on the wheel!), they’re very down to earth, and they love to help newcomers. And, you’ll probably end up with some great pieces of pottery.
Most places also have an outlet where the students sell their pottery and plants, so you could volunteer to work there once a week and meet even more women.
5. And lastly, don’t forget the various chat rooms on the internet. The great ones are those where you talk to a variety of people at the same time – kind of in a rotation – and the ones that are interested will keep responding to your answers.
Eventually, you’ll exchange instant messaging addresses and go out of the chat room to talk more one on one. It’s a great, quick way to meet many interesting women.
So, think about places where women will be and where it will be natural to interact with them, and go to these places. You will find great women to get to know in a comfortable atmosphere instead of the high-pressure places like bars and clubs.
