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The idea that woman only like jerks is a myth, but it does have a grain of truth to it. Jerks may be forceful and arrogant, but one thing they aren’t is timid. A woman may be more likely to be attracted to a jerk than an insecure guy, but the man she’ll choose over them both is a confident man.

It doesn’t help that the time when you feel the least confident is usually when you’re trying to approach a woman. The good news is that you can still act confident, and the better news is that acting confident helps you gain confidence.

If you find yourself touching your face or covering your mouth when you speak, you are definitely showing nervousness. Slouching and bad posture also show a lack of confidence.

Other signs for nervousness include avoiding eye contact and fidgeting. If you smoke, it’s a good idea to stop. Smoking behavior leaves some of the most obvious clues to nervousness – and also, non-smoking women will have a very hard time getting attracted to you.

Confident men, on the other hand, stand up straight with their shoulders squared, are comfortable with keeping steady eye contact, and tend to lean back and put their feet up when they sit down.

They keep their hands away from their mouths, and when they speak they gesture from themselves to the other person. But even confident men make mistakes. You need to avoid coming across as arrogant or unconsciously treating a woman as if she’s a man.

Steepling your fingers is a common gesture of confidence – but it means that you’ve either proved a point or you’re about to. It isn’t very appropriate when you’re asking a woman out.

Leaning back and putting your feet up may project confidence, but if you go the extra step and rest your ankle on your knee and put your hands behind your head, you start to look aggressive.

Standing with your hands behind your back and your chin thrust out is a classic arrogant posture. It’s a position to take when you’re the boss of whomever you’re speaking to, and it’s also not appropriate on a date.

Here’s an example of how to approach a woman with confidence:

Walk toward her with your back straight and shoulders back. Meet her eyes, smile, and offer to shake her hand as you introduce yourself. If she is seated, sit down as well so that you are at her level. Sit quietly, maintain eye contact, and when you speak, gesture from yourself to her.

With practice, not only will you be able to act more confident as you approach women, but you will actually be more confident.

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Where you meet a woman has the power to define the rest of your relationship. This is true because of three things: First, because where a woman spends most of her time says a lot about the kind of person she is.

If she’s outgoing and likes to party, chances are you’ll meet her at a club. If she’s athletic and competitive, you might find her at a race. If she’s into humanitarian causes, you might bump into her while building a house for Habitat for Humanity.

Second, she’ll remember where you met, and that will affect her perception of you. If you meet her at a club, she might assume you only want a casual relationship. If your friends introduce you to her, she’ll know that your friends and her friends already think you might be a good couple, and you’ll probably still see each other sometimes even if you break up.

Third, if she makes a big impression on you when you meet, you’ll also remember what circumstances you met under. You might always think of her as the wild girl at the club, even if she normally doesn’t go to clubs. These things set the tone for your relationship.

Of course, the circumstances that you meet under don’t have to define the rest of the relationship, but it takes work to erase any negative impressions either one of you might have made. And the very beginning of a relationship is not a good time for problems.

The best place to meet women is during the course of your real life. You shouldn’t have to go out of your way to meet women. If you don’t see women with the potential to be great girlfriends during your everyday routine, then you need to get out more.

Don’t worry about coming across someone perfect unexpectedly. That’s really the best way to meet women – it’s hard to look desperate for a girlfriend when you’re just going about your business. You can be approachable and attractive even when you aren’t trying to be.

Learning how to meet women anywhere makes dating easier on you in the long run. If the only reason you went somewhere was to find single women, you’re going to have a hard time explaining why you don’t want to go back when you have a girlfriend.

Desperate men chase after women, and you don’t have to be desperate. Meet women wherever you are and leave a good impression, and sooner or later one is going to show you that she’s interested.