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When you meet a woman, you want to be very clear that you’re looking for someone to date and that you’re not already in an exclusive relationship. It’s also a good idea to do that without looking desperate.

Sometimes it’s hard to strike that balance, but if you succeed, it’ll be easy to meet interesting women who are interested in you. Here are a few things to keep in mind when you’re trying to appear attractive and available:

• You don’t need a girlfriend. They’re great to have around, but if you don’t get a date tonight, you aren’t going to die. You aren’t even going to be bored, because you’re a fun and interesting person who is capable of entertaining himself. If the women you meet don’t accept your offer of a date, you have a backup plan.
• Most women are friendly, polite, and will try their best to give you a chance. Your job is also to be friendly, polite, and to try your best to give them a chance.
• Nothing is at stake when you first introduce yourself. All you’re trying to do is say hello. You don’t have to follow up with a brilliant conversation or a grand gesture – you can move on to someone else if you want.
• If you introduce yourself to enough single women, sooner or later one will begin a conversation with you. And a conversation is halfway to a date.
• Keep your body language open. Keep your hands open and out of your pockets, and your arms and legs uncrossed. Practice maintaining a confident posture without looking arrogant.
• Try not to get too concerned about how important your first impression is. It’s important, but a bad impression can usually be fixed if you catch it early. And if you can’t fix it, there are still other women to meet.
• Your first goal isn’t to meet women and get a date. Actually, your first goal is to practice giving the appearance of a confident, secure, interesting person. Once that starts feeling comfortable, you’ll have women introducing themselves to you.
• There are a few gestures you can use to show a woman you’re interested in her – meeting her eyes, straightening your tie or coat, and straightening up your posture. She is guaranteed to pick up on these, even if it’s only subconsciously.

The main thing to remember is this: you may be interested in a woman, but you can still live without her. And that’s the key to being available but not desperate.

Flirting is both an art and a science. When done well, it’s fun and serves as a path to dating. Flirting is less about coming up with catchy lines and more about using words and body language paired with a sincere interest in the other person (the flirtee, if you will).

With some practice, you’ll find that you can flirt without feeling embarrassed. Flirting is always playful and fun. It often has a vague sexual undertone, which is fine, but you have to be careful not to let it get out of hand, especially with a woman you don’t know well or you’re not in a dating relationship with.

You should never let sex be the basis of your flirtations. The prelude to flirting is almost always a glance and a smile, which leads to conversation. If you catch a woman’s eye, and she gives you a smile, it’s fine to strike up a conversation to see if it leads to mutual flirtation.

Flirting can happen when you’re engaged in conversation and you and she are able to share an “inside” joke, or a quick brush of a hand on a forearm, or a smile. Maybe it will involve a sincere compliment such as, “I don’t know how you do it, but you always brighten up a room!”

With any luck, she’ll take that as a hint to stop and talk for a few minutes. Body language - such as holding a gaze, leaning in, a touch on the arm, or a coy nod from across the room - can all be interpreted by either side as flirting.

Flirting can happen from afar, too, such as when you exchange glances during a business meeting. A quick raise of the eyebrow and a smile can say a lot. Some things to be cautious about: Not all smiles, shared jokes and laughter is flirting, and you’re going to have to discern what is and what isn’t.

This might seem tough, but it is possible to learn who’s flirting and who’s just sharing a laugh with a friend. There are intangibles that come with flirting and that’s where your intuition has to come into play.

If you don’t think you have intuition – you’re wrong. It’s not only women who are intuitive. Intuition is the same as a gut feeling. That’s all it is. If she’s looking at you from across the room and smiling, your gut will probably have something to say about whether she’s smiling at you because she likes you or because you just finished telling the funniest joke anyone’s ever heard. Try to become more aware of your gut instinct.

Another caution: It can be easy to go overboard when flirting. Things are going well and you’re on a roll. That’s no reason to make up stories about yourself that you won’t be able to back up, so be honest.

Don’t just talk about yourself, but listen to what she’s saying – actually pay attention. It will help you keep the conversation going if you’re listening and expressing sincere interest.

If you’re still confused about flirting, practice with women that you aren’t intimidated by. A little practice flirt with a female friend doesn’t mean you have to ask her out. Just get some practice giving compliments and smiles with someone who doesn’t intimidate you.

And remember, flirting is only one element of a conversation. It’s not easy or even desirable to have a long conversation filled with nothing but your best efforts at flirting. It has to give way to real talk, and then it becomes a natural part of conversation that’s thrown in once in awhile for some added fun.

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