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It’s never a good idea to walk up to a woman and say, “Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.” Openers like that are sure to make your intended target run in the other direction.

So what do you say as your opening line, and how can you say it so that you don’t come off as an idiot? First, don’t pre-plan your icebreakers. They’ll sound forced and your potential date will not be impressed.

Stay away from anything cheesy and even the over-used, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” There are better ways to break the ice and get a conversation started.

At Work:

• Offer to help. If she’s carrying something, setting something up, taking something down, or otherwise doing something that it looks like she might appreciate some assistance with, offer it.

• Ask her something. Ask her if she knows where the mechanical pencils are stored or if she has the phone number for the Rochester branch, or if you could borrow her packing tape (then return it with your thanks and a cup of coffee).

• Compliment her. Tell her that you thought she did a great job with the presentation or that you like the way she handled that rude customer, or that you thought the joke she told in the break room was really funny.

• Ask her to help you. Ask her to show you how to do something on the computer, or to explain how pro-rated vacation time works.

At the Gym, Bark Park, Book Club, Cooking Class, Etc.:

• Smile and say, “Have you ever tried the spinning class? I’m thinking of trying it.”

• If you’re at the Bark Park, compliment her four legged friend such as saying, “Nice puppy. Is he purebred?”

• At the library, ask, “How do you feel about this book? I’m having a love/hate relationship with the main character.”

• If you’re in a class together in college or for a specific skill, ask, “Have you enjoyed the class so far? My friends are pretty impressed with my newfound cooking abilities!”

At the Bar:

• Say, “Gosh it’s loud in here, isn’t it?” Or ask what time the bar closes. You don’t have to seem like you’re trying to meet her – she just happens to be the one you start talking to.

You’ll get far more points for noticing that she could use a hand or that she has a cute dog, or that she has a nice smile than if you try to come off as some sort of misguided Don Juan.

Pick up lines and cheesy icebreakers seldom work. If you need to practice and think of possible lines in order to be prepared for any chance that might present itself, that’s fine, but you have to remain flexible and relaxed so that you don’t sound like you were just waiting to use that line on the first girl that happened to come along.

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Some pick up lines are unbecoming, boring and rude.

How many times have we heard cheesy pick up lines like:

“Nice shoes. Wanna bang?”

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

“Your daddy must have been a thief, because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes.”

Face it, using lines like this will cause a girl to run the other way. Pick up lines like these make you look like an idiot.

Consequently, bad pick up lines get too much attention, therefore everyone thinks all pick up lines are lame.

This simply is not true.

Using good pick up lines actually assist you in picking up a woman.

Understand: The whole point of using a pick up line is to get a conversation started.

That is all.

Once you get the girl talking with you, then you can work your magic and do what you need to do to get the date, the phone number, or the make-out.

If you cannot begin a conversation, you can do little else.

You want something more that just talking to a woman; you want to engage her in a good conversation. Drawing her into your conversation is the only means of continuing your relationship journey.

Good pick up lines help you do this.

When I first started going out to meet women, I was always at a loss of what to say to first meet a girl. I was always trying to think of something to say off the top of my head, and more often than not, I’d miss my opportunity to meet a great girl because it took me too long to think something up.

This is why you should know a couple of good working pick up lines. Situations like these may hinder you from being original and you need something to help you get the ball rolling.

Never, consider that you can slide by with a line such as:

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

This is lame pick up line and women know it, this is not a clever pick up line and makes you look bad.

Also, doing things like asking for directions, telling a girl she looks like a certain celebrity, and complimenting her on a piece of clothing are BAD ways to pick a girl up.

Why do you think this is?

These lines do not engage the woman, since once she answers you; the conversation has nowhere to go.

Bad pick up lines have yes and no answers. Good pick up lines get a woman to thinking about her response, while encouraging an emotional reaction from her, this causes her to want to continue talking with you.

So how do you engage a girl?

Easy, ask her opinion about some issue, since each woman has her own opinion, she likes to share with other, especially when it concerns relationships.

So to give you an example, you could say something like: “Hey, can I get your opinion on something real quick? Do you think it’s weird for a woman to try and get pregnant because she wants her baby to be born under a certain astrological sign? I really want to hear a woman’s perspective on this.”

Then follow up with a short story of how a woman may want her and her children’s zodiac sign to be compatible, so they interact well together throughout their lives.

These various types of subjects for conversation can be about:

1. Children 2. Marriage 3. Astrology 4. Pregnancy 5. Relationships

The numerous ideas for conversations are unlimited. Here you will find a few of my favorite follow-ups.

“Do you think there’s something to astrology?” (then lead into more discussion about destiny or fate.)

“What is your zodiac sign?” (This can lead to talking about your sign compatibility - as a general rule, no matter what your sign is - you are compatible!)

“Are you fond of children? You seem very nurturing.”

I could go on and on, but you get the idea.

The design of a good pick up line engages a woman into deep and interesting conversations that provide you with an opportunity to get to know one another as you become familiar with each other.

This is how conversations are started!

From that point, it should be rather easy to ask her for a telephone number and possibly set up a first date.

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