Your first reaction when you want to meet women might be to go to a bar or club. True, you will meet a lot of interesting women in these kinds of places, but it’s not that easy and the competition is fierce. Also, a woman who hangs out in a bar or club to meet men might not be exactly the type of woman you are interested in at the moment.
Go somewhere where there will be a lot of women and where it is natural to talk to them. Or where you will be interacting with the women who are there. This is so much easier than a place where you have to go up to a woman and try to start a conversation out of the blue. Here are some ideas:
1. The atmosphere in a yoga class, for example, is relaxed and meditative. Just the opposite of the bar scene. Also, there are usually twice as many women as men in a typical class, and most people are very helpful to newcomers.
2. What’s the latest aerobics “trend” in your area? Women like to try out the latest thing to stay in shape, so this is a great place to meet vibrant, interested women who care about themselves. After a class, a lot of people hang out at the coffee shop or juice bar at the health club or in the neighborhood. This is a great opportunity to discuss the class you just attended or ask for help with a particularly new concept. Or, just ask their opinion on what’s the best juice drink after a vigorous workout?
3. If you like your women a little more on the sophisticated side, go to a wine tasting or art show. Making conversation in these kinds of atmospheres is normal because that’s what people come there to do – discuss the latest, best new wine or the art of an up-and-coming artist. You might want to read up on the artist or vineyard before you go so you have some points of conversation ready.
4. One of the least thought about but great places to meet women, especially women who want to be helpful if you’re new – is a pottery class. I went to pottery classes for three years and, believe me, the women who go to these classes are incredible. They’re friendly, have great senses of humor (you have to have a sense of humor when you end up with your thumb sticking through the side of the bowl you’re trying to “throw” on the wheel!), they’re very down to earth, and they love to help newcomers. And, you’ll probably end up with some great pieces of pottery.
Most places also have an outlet where the students sell their pottery and plants, so you could volunteer to work there once a week and meet even more women.
5. And lastly, don’t forget the various chat rooms on the internet. The great ones are those where you talk to a variety of people at the same time – kind of in a rotation – and the ones that are interested will keep responding to your answers.
Eventually, you’ll exchange instant messaging addresses and go out of the chat room to talk more one on one. It’s a great, quick way to meet many interesting women.
So, think about places where women will be and where it will be natural to interact with them, and go to these places. You will find great women to get to know in a comfortable atmosphere instead of the high-pressure places like bars and clubs.
The first woman you meet may be interested in you and immediately want to go out with you. Or, maybe not. You might have trouble finding anyone you’re interested in, or you might lose interest after introducing yourself.
In any case, you’ll need to keep on getting out and meeting women until you find someone you hit it off with. Here are some scenarios where it might be better to move on and meet someone else:
She’s interested in you, but you can’t stand her. She might even be very nice, but you can’t imagine a relationship with her. Even if she’s getting on your nerves, be polite. If you want her to take the hint and move on, tell her, “Excuse me, but there’s someone else I’d like to meet.” If that direct hint doesn’t work? Well, you can always hide in the men’s room a few minutes.
You’re interested in her – and her equally hot friend. Attempting to date two women who know each other at the same time is awkward, and if they’re friends, it only gets worse. Be friendly to them both, but for a date, choose someone else. Later, if you become friends with both women, you might be more attracted to one, but don’t go dating one and then the other.
You thought you were interested, and now you’re not. If she turns out to be clearly the wrong woman for you, a businesslike handshake and “It was very nice to meet you,” tells her that the relationship has been nipped in the bud.
She loses interest in you. If her body language suddenly turns from open and interested to closed and bored, it’s time for you to move on. If you really want to see her again, though, you might get somewhere if you ask her straight out what’s the matter.
It could be worth it if she lost interest because of a misunderstanding. However, if she heard you correctly and it’s something you feel you can’t or shouldn’t change about yourself, it’s time to move on.
She completely ignores you. If she doesn’t even give you a chance in the first place, you should move on before you start looking desperate. Besides, who needs a girlfriend who can’t be polite?
Remember, if you get out and meet a lot of women in a variety of places, sooner or later you will come across someone who’d love to go out with you. So there’s no point in worrying over the women who you didn’t get to date – just concentrate on finding that one woman.
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When you meet a woman, you want to be very clear that you’re looking for someone to date and that you’re not already in an exclusive relationship. It’s also a good idea to do that without looking desperate.
Sometimes it’s hard to strike that balance, but if you succeed, it’ll be easy to meet interesting women who are interested in you. Here are a few things to keep in mind when you’re trying to appear attractive and available:
- You don’t need a girlfriend. They’re great to have around, but if you don’t get a date tonight, you aren’t going to die. You aren’t even going to be bored, because you’re a fun and interesting person who is capable of entertaining himself. If the women you meet don’t accept your offer of a date, you have a backup plan.
- Most women are friendly, polite, and will try their best to give you a chance. Your job is also to be friendly, polite, and to try your best to give them a chance.
- Nothing is at stake when you first introduce yourself. All you’re trying to do is say hello. You don’t have to follow up with a brilliant conversation or a grand gesture – you can move on to someone else if you want.
- If you introduce yourself to enough single women, sooner or later one will begin a conversation with you. And a conversation is halfway to a date.
- Keep your body language open. Keep your hands open and out of your pockets, and your arms and legs uncrossed. Practice maintaining a confident posture without looking arrogant.
- Try not to get too concerned about how important your first impression is. It’s important, but a bad impression can usually be fixed if you catch it early. And if you can’t fix it, there are still other women to meet.
- Your first goal isn’t to meet women and get a date. Actually, your first goal is to practice giving the appearance of a confident, secure, interesting person. Once that starts feeling comfortable, you’ll have women introducing themselves to you.
- There are a few gestures you can use to show a woman you’re interested in her – meeting her eyes, straightening your tie or coat, and straightening up your posture. She is guaranteed to pick up on these, even if it’s only subconsciously.
The main thing to remember is this: you may be interested in a woman, but you can still live without her. And that’s the key to being available but not desperate.
If you are serious about taking your dating and attraction success to the next level, Slade Shaw’s “Fireworks With Females” is an absolute must-have companion to help guide you on the journey and maximize your chances of attraction and relationship success. Click here to get your free 6-part mini-course on How to Attract Women!