If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

The idea that woman only like jerks is a myth, but it does have a grain of truth to it. Jerks may be forceful and arrogant, but one thing they aren’t is timid. A woman may be more likely to be attracted to a jerk than an insecure guy, but the man she’ll choose over them both is a confident man.

It doesn’t help that the time when you feel the least confident is usually when you’re trying to approach a woman. The good news is that you can still act confident, and the better news is that acting confident helps you gain confidence.

If you find yourself touching your face or covering your mouth when you speak, you are definitely showing nervousness. Slouching and bad posture also show a lack of confidence.

Other signs for nervousness include avoiding eye contact and fidgeting. If you smoke, it’s a good idea to stop. Smoking behavior leaves some of the most obvious clues to nervousness – and also, non-smoking women will have a very hard time getting attracted to you.

Confident men, on the other hand, stand up straight with their shoulders squared, are comfortable with keeping steady eye contact, and tend to lean back and put their feet up when they sit down.

They keep their hands away from their mouths, and when they speak they gesture from themselves to the other person. But even confident men make mistakes. You need to avoid coming across as arrogant or unconsciously treating a woman as if she’s a man.

Steepling your fingers is a common gesture of confidence – but it means that you’ve either proved a point or you’re about to. It isn’t very appropriate when you’re asking a woman out.

Leaning back and putting your feet up may project confidence, but if you go the extra step and rest your ankle on your knee and put your hands behind your head, you start to look aggressive.

Standing with your hands behind your back and your chin thrust out is a classic arrogant posture. It’s a position to take when you’re the boss of whomever you’re speaking to, and it’s also not appropriate on a date.

Here’s an example of how to approach a woman with confidence:

Walk toward her with your back straight and shoulders back. Meet her eyes, smile, and offer to shake her hand as you introduce yourself. If she is seated, sit down as well so that you are at her level. Sit quietly, maintain eye contact, and when you speak, gesture from yourself to her.

With practice, not only will you be able to act more confident as you approach women, but you will actually be more confident.

Meet singles today - see who’s online now

When you meet a woman, you want to be very clear that you’re looking for someone to date and that you’re not already in an exclusive relationship. It’s also a good idea to do that without looking desperate.

Sometimes it’s hard to strike that balance, but if you succeed, it’ll be easy to meet interesting women who are interested in you. Here are a few things to keep in mind when you’re trying to appear attractive and available:

• You don’t need a girlfriend. They’re great to have around, but if you don’t get a date tonight, you aren’t going to die. You aren’t even going to be bored, because you’re a fun and interesting person who is capable of entertaining himself. If the women you meet don’t accept your offer of a date, you have a backup plan.
• Most women are friendly, polite, and will try their best to give you a chance. Your job is also to be friendly, polite, and to try your best to give them a chance.
• Nothing is at stake when you first introduce yourself. All you’re trying to do is say hello. You don’t have to follow up with a brilliant conversation or a grand gesture – you can move on to someone else if you want.
• If you introduce yourself to enough single women, sooner or later one will begin a conversation with you. And a conversation is halfway to a date.
• Keep your body language open. Keep your hands open and out of your pockets, and your arms and legs uncrossed. Practice maintaining a confident posture without looking arrogant.
• Try not to get too concerned about how important your first impression is. It’s important, but a bad impression can usually be fixed if you catch it early. And if you can’t fix it, there are still other women to meet.
• Your first goal isn’t to meet women and get a date. Actually, your first goal is to practice giving the appearance of a confident, secure, interesting person. Once that starts feeling comfortable, you’ll have women introducing themselves to you.
• There are a few gestures you can use to show a woman you’re interested in her – meeting her eyes, straightening your tie or coat, and straightening up your posture. She is guaranteed to pick up on these, even if it’s only subconsciously.

The main thing to remember is this: you may be interested in a woman, but you can still live without her. And that’s the key to being available but not desperate.